So now I have to leave this place.
The night is back and like all the other shadows I will go outside - it’s the only time we can move. Shame on me but yeah I like it - it’s cold, it’s lonely it’s far but it’s still me.
Thats everythink i’ll need - for now, but the days will change.

Good Night

Next Story out of the life of a real human beeing.
What is harder to have sex with someone you don’t know?
To wake up and don’t know you had sex.

Yeah always the same story:
Guy gets drunk, Girl gets funny, Guy gets more drunk, Girl gets beautiful, Guy is drunk, Girl gets naked, Guy and Girl have Sex, Guy wakes up and screams the shit out of his lights. Yeah it’s always the same - hopefully for me
God damnit I was drunk like hell, at the first 4 hours in this Club i knew this girl is ugly but then my "good" friend bought the devils right hand to drink.
Tequila - after 4 of them she begun to look more beautiful but first after 2 more she was it. So I decided to turn her on.
You have to imagine a guy who could barely walk dancing with a girl.
It was more a flying from one corner of the room to the other - but hell yeah it was fun (as I can remember).
Then there is this 6 hour black hole in my head - nothing to remember.

So next morning I wake up because somethink or someone is working on somethink at me - as I woke up and saw this head over my dick I smiled but then she looked at my. I wish she never done that, her face was … reason enough to get drunk the next evening

But ok we had sex another time her body was ok.

More guys out there with the same experiences? Good please don’t tell me.

And again someone is just "uh?" the whole day.
It’s amazing funny to see what happens when you use 5 words to distinguish people - i love this shit. All the same trying to be more then these 5 Words or getting angry or fighting against this and more interessting is all of them care about these 5 Words.
Everytime you say to someone: "I’ll bet I can distinguish you in 5 Word" and then throwing those people the most crapy thinks in their face yeah everytime the people are impressed but they always care about this shit.

Hey guys wake up even if you think somebody could to this, but at the end of the day it’s not important. Everyone who gives a fuck at this should be beaten directly. Wtf is wrong?

Some people until now don’t know the only think that matters is to be yourself.
What do you think?

Well you can say all I do is hurting myself, hiding and runing away.
But yeah that is the way for me to carry on.
I love my life more then all of you ever know.

If I ever hurt people around me - the people should know that I hurt myself this way, only to know that i’m still alive.
Hell yeah i’m fucked up.

And nobody knows why.

Sometimes I wish I could forget every think, could forget what I’m fighting for.
So many Pictures in my head, so many memories – thinks I should forget, thinks I can’t forget.
Pictures I never took because I thought every think would be great, forever.
So many people tell me that I’m such a sad boy, such a sad guy – but how could you say this?
You can’t see what I have done, you can’t see what I had to do so in the end I’m just a lonely stranger out there.
I wish I could turn back and go again through some moments, just to see my grandma, or my mother, or my father one moment again.
Just to tell them all the thinks that I forget to say.

But sadly I’m to relastic to think this could be possible, so all the time my head stops my heart.
I’m lonely not more not less – only this. It destroys my life, slowly - like a poison it goes through all the big thinks in my life and makes them ill.
No I won’t give up, but I can feel the end.
Nothing more to say only – I will find you, just for the moment?
I don’t now but I will find you.

Day after Day i’m running, fighting against my life. I’m screming but nobody can hear it – because I’m only a half person.
It’s hard for myself to stand up, again and again – only to know there is nothing, there is nobody outside.
Sure like everybody else I have friends, my family and all the other people around my – but at the end of the day, in the cold nights there is this question.
Where is she?
It’s sound so strange, I know this – but also I know somewhere outside is this girl, this woman. She is already in my dreams, since I can think – she was the dream to bring me trough all those hard times.
Sadly I don’t know her until now, from time to time I can see parts of her in other women, but only one woman until now gave her the face.
It was a great time, 4 years of my life with this woman – I lost her because she changed everythink, because I had to go forward.
Now I’m alone, the nights became longer and longer – even if I fuck every woman on this planet, I’m still alone – like so many people in this City.
Sure I’m not the best person on this planet or nearly a good person – but I am here.
Some Day hopefully I will find her, but now it looks more like everythink is done.
This chapter, this chance to be really happy is gone – where should I go now?
What can I do now?
Nothing – just stand there and face the world again and again….but I can’t stand up any longer, my heart can’t take any more. But it has to,
because life is hard.
So my brain screams against all this and I’m fighting again – even if my heart says that it is over, I’m fighting through another lonely cold night.

One day … For Sure the Sun will come back in my life and I’ll promised,
I will be ready for this day.
I’ll find you.

Berlin, the City of Love - ok more in a sexual way, but however love.
Yeah i talk about Berlinication or something like that.
Sure some of you will tell me i’m wrong - but in the end in all the written stuff is more truth then we will normally excuse.

However whats the Deal with the Topic today?
Okay first of all i had all the time since now the golden rule…
Don’t do Couchsurfers.
It’s poor, because they need you and so on…
But sometimes it was hard to be a man and host only women, sometimes they showed me to much - or were to crazy or …or…
For example some chicks showed me their titz because they wan’t to see how far they can go?
I don’t know.

So in the end my golden rule was more a golden idea, not more - i’m a man, sorry for that

10 Rules to Fuck and not to get fucked

1. Give a crap to be nice, be true.
2. From time to time, move your eyes away from her boobs or ass to her eyes.
3. Show her that you give a fuck about her.
4. Touch her, hand on her shoulder or something
5. Make her laugh
6. Show her that she is not the only woman for you
7. Don’t try to be intelligent, charismatic or something like this.
   Be you - thats all you need.
8. Go away if she is talking to much.
9. Go away and come back after 10 Minutes, no sorry - no excuses, tell her the truth if she is asking for:
   You saw a friend, another woman…and so on
10. The main civilized behaviour is nice, but not a need to have. Show her not to much.

So well Guys have fun, don’t forget the Condom and please don’t talk about “love” tonight its you, your dick and her vagina. Not more but everythink you need.

In my oppinion it’s really amazing how many Women in Berlin are out there to destroy themselfes.
I mean there are thousends of Girls out there, but nowhere else i met so many disenchanted women like in this City.
No it’s not the big deal for me that they just go out and give their bodies to every guy who can talk one sentence without an “eh”.
The big deal is all these women are running away, away from their lonly lives - most of them try to have “fun”, to “forget” and to be not so alone.
In the end they are all the same - alone and mostly depressed about their lives.

God damnit wake up - live isn’t easy, but show yourself a little respect and don’t fuck with every guy - and really i mean every guy.

After 10 Months in this City, with more fucking then breathing i’m at the point to say no.
It’s to easy, it’s to boring - no i don’t hate women, i was just wondering if thats it - thats the live they want to have.

So i’m out of it, out of the Game - for the Moment.

In the end thank god, Californication was just the little point to wake me up.

So something special besides all the Couchsurfing Stuff? But more then you think.
Californication TV - this great Serial in the Television.
Maybe you know it, for those off you who don’t know this Serial a little abstract of the Story.

Californication is a Serial in the Television, it’s about a writer - or more a guy who had written a long time ago a great book. He has some big Problems, the biggest one is that the love of his live just fucked another guy and wants now to marry this one.
So our hero - or more badly fucked up asshole is on his way to destroy himself and all the women he meet.
And yeah he has a lot of Sex with many different women, but not to have much fun or to be the biggest dick in the world. It’s more the search for love, the will to be not alone - to forget.
So he fucks every girl who can’t run away….

Whats the deal with this Serial?
Why can you find this in my Couchsurfing Blog - so i think you can talk about Berlinication, becouse here in Berlin the Women are the same.
I don’t know why in this City, the City with the Berlin Angel all the Women destroy themself.
Thats crazy, it makes me … i don’t know what.

Stay tuned for some insider Story’s.