Where should I go?

Day after Day i’m running, fighting against my life. I’m screming but nobody can hear it – because I’m only a half person.
It’s hard for myself to stand up, again and again – only to know there is nothing, there is nobody outside.
Sure like everybody else I have friends, my family and all the other people around my – but at the end of the day, in the cold nights there is this question.
Where is she?
It’s sound so strange, I know this – but also I know somewhere outside is this girl, this woman. She is already in my dreams, since I can think – she was the dream to bring me trough all those hard times.
Sadly I don’t know her until now, from time to time I can see parts of her in other women, but only one woman until now gave her the face.
It was a great time, 4 years of my life with this woman – I lost her because she changed everythink, because I had to go forward.
Now I’m alone, the nights became longer and longer – even if I fuck every woman on this planet, I’m still alone – like so many people in this City.
Sure I’m not the best person on this planet or nearly a good person – but I am here.
Some Day hopefully I will find her, but now it looks more like everythink is done.
This chapter, this chance to be really happy is gone – where should I go now?
What can I do now?
Nothing – just stand there and face the world again and again….but I can’t stand up any longer, my heart can’t take any more. But it has to,
because life is hard.
So my brain screams against all this and I’m fighting again – even if my heart says that it is over, I’m fighting through another lonely cold night.

One day … For Sure the Sun will come back in my life and I’ll promised,
I will be ready for this day.
I’ll find you.